Meteor

I have proof for myself that God loves me and knows me. He knows me better than anyone else. 

This is something I always believed in my head growing up, but I never believed with my heart. I never really believed until when I was around 18.  There are many stories that point to Jesus’ love for me; His provision for me; simply seeing me and letting me know it; answering prayers I didn’t think he even heard. Right now though, I will focus on one story in particular that I hold close to my heart. I will be a fool if I ever forget it because, to me, it was amazing. To you it may seem a bit funny or insignificant, but, like I said, God knows what I will respond to and what I need to see or hear at any given moment. 

I was lonely. I had crippling homesickness; the type you can almost physically feel in your chest. At the time, as the teenager I was, I was heartbroken from the rejection of a boy I liked far too much. Although I can look back and roll my eyes at some of that angst, I also know that my pain was real. My loneliness was real.

I was crying; I’m not sure how long. Not sure what to pray for, really. 

I lay on a trampoline in the middle of a big yard staring up at the clear night sky full of stars, feeling a whirlwind of many emotions. 

I do remember the most prominent emotion being loneliness. 

But God saw me.

In a flash, I saw a meteor blaze across the sky. This wasn’t like the small streaks of white light I had seen in the past that are pretty, but dim and so far off. This was a blaze of orange fiery light. It was the closest meteor I’ve ever seen. It stopped my sobs in their tracks. The sight was so ethereal, I found myself wondering if I had really even seen it! I was in awe. God sent a flame through the sky to show me that I was seen by him; to remind me who made the universe; who created me and my destiny to begin with. My pain was real in that moment but God was so much more vast than I understood.

I have always been a spiritually aware person. Someone who is as superstitious as a Christian can be, and doesn’t believe in coincidence. I have always held on to the verse in Proverbs 16:33 that says “The lot is cast into the lap, but every decision is from the Lord.”

When I pray and I hear the breeze blow through the trees, I am reminded of the breath of God which keeps everything sustained. When I listen to the thunder and rain, I think of God’s booming, powerful voice. 

Those little things here and there that not a lot of people know about me, but of course, God knows me the best. He knew exactly how to get my attention. 

My question is, naturally, why am I so forgetful? After seeing a sign of fire in the sky, I can still forget. I think we all find ourselves wondering that at some point in our Christian walk. How can we forget God’s love for us after he’s shown himself to be faithful time and time again? Perhaps our view of ourselves is a little bit inflated. Maybe we forget that we are, at the end of the day, sheep who need to stay close to their shepherd, because when we don’t we go astray in the matter of minutes, it seems. Maybe if we stayed close to God at all times, we would forget less.

Just a thought. 

The story of how God manipulated the cosmos on my behalf, to communicate that I was seen, is one I look forward to telling to the people I meet through the Kingdom Coffee shop in the future.