My Experience on a Missions Base: the Good, the Bad, and the Growing

The A Jesus Mission headquarters in Modesto, CA also serves as a home for 11 people. It’s a 4-bedroom house with a small apartment above the garage on about an acre of land. Plus a barn, storage shed, and tool shed in the large backyard where ministry and life happens. Currently we have 5 single people and two married couples with babies living here (though we’ve had up to 17 people living here in the past). Community living is extremely difficult. But that difficulty leads to growth, deeper relationships, and provision. I moved here one week after I turned eighteen. Bleach-blonde Bella, immature in her person and her faith, ready to conquer the world. Two of the initial things I struggled with the most were being under Godly leadership and my work ethic.

Being under Godly leadership was something I really needed, I had gone far too long rebelling against leadership and it was getting me no where good. But this meant that now I would get called out and called higher. I had a really hard time transitioning into a world with no gossip, where we are loving to people even if they bother us, where your problems with someone have to be addressed because you might end up sleeping in the same room as them. I’m very thankful that this community I am a part of is one that pushes loving and clear communication. We have worked hard to be intentional to go straight to someone if we have an issue with them. Confrontation doesn’t have to be scary when both parties go into it with humble and loving hearts.

My work ethic was the other struggle for me, I was now in a place where much of my schedule was not up to just me. For example, there was a season where we would have Bible study all together at 7am sharp and then spend the summer workday pulling weeds or building bunk beds. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a morning person. Before moving here, I was often still asleep at 7am, and even if I was awake I certainly wasn’t ready to engage in a theological discussion. That was definitely very stretching for me. I was coming straight from doing a gap semester after graduating highschool, where other than my 25 hours a week that I worked, my schedule was fully up to me, so this was a big transition.

Fast forward to today…where am I at with all of these things? It’s been almost 3 years since moving here and so much has changed, including the fact that I got married and had a baby. God has done a big work on my heart. I got to a spot eight months ago where I knew I needed to make some big life changes if I was going to be a healthy leader, Godly wife, and a good mom to Grae. He changed my heart posture from fighting correction, to being open and excited to learn about the things I needed to change or work on. This was huge, because I was about to enter a season of a lot of needed personal growth and refining. It is a very different experience going through every facet of life with constant accountability. When you live in a tight knit community, there is not much that goes unnoticed. To be fully loved is to be fully known. Fully knowing my communication skills, my coping mechanisms, my relationship with God, my intentionality with my baby Grae, my depression, and the health of my marriage.

The culture at the base has also changed: the standards we have, how we handle conflict, etc. The health of the missionaries living here has changed, many of us started therapy and have worked really hard to be free of strongholds. We have been through so much together, from traumatic losses of close friends to pregnancy announcements and babies being born to major fundraising pushes and starting Kingdom Coffee together. The people here have become adopted family to me, it has been the biggest blessing to do life like this (especially now with a baby). I often reflect on just how abundant of a life God has given to me. We may not have much money or our own home, but God has made my life so rich in other ways.

As far as being under Godly leadership goes, I do a lot better with it now. I think that my sinful nature will always struggle somewhat with “being told what to do,” but the Holy Spirit reminds me of the true heart of biblical leadership. I trust that God has put these people in these leadership roles, so I must trust that He is also in control of what they do with those roles. I also see a lot of value in living closely with those in AJM leadership. You get to see their family dynamics, how they act outside of work hours, how they pour into others, and what their relationships with God look like in practice. I do love that we have a culture here of open communication, I can ask the leaders challenging questions, I can give suggestions. It’s a mutual discipleship type of structure.

Life at this missions base is so different from what it used to be. I am so different from who I used to be. In order to live in a community, a home full of many different backgrounds and personalities, growth is required. Sacrifices are made. Conflict is expected. Tears are shed. Memories are made. Friends become family. God uses the good and the bad for growth.”