From the time sin entered the world in Genesis 3, God has been in the work of not wasting the suffering experienced by His creation. Among other things, He allows the heartaches of this world to be utilized for our sanctification, for we grow greatly in the valleys.
John 11 is a perfect example of this. Jesus was with his disciples when He received a communication from Martha and Mary telling him how their brother Lazarus was ill. Jesus loved this family, but instead of hurrying back to this family’s town, He stayed where He was for another two days declaring, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”
The word for love used in verse five, agapao, is the verb-tense form of agape. This is unconditional love. We could read this text to understand that because Jesus loved this family unconditionally, he waited another two days before beginning His journey to them. In the midst of great heartache, as Lazarus’s illness would turn to death, Jesus knew He must allow this suffering in order for the Son of God to be glorified.
We find later in a beautiful encounter with Martha that He used this experience to see her belief, yield clarity, and truly provide more of Himself at the core of her grief. Mary fell at His feet, and together the sisters wept unapologetically, with no shame of the incredible sadness they felt. After Jesus brought Lazarus back to life, the Bible tells us that some of the grieving Jewish spectators believed in Him as well.
The suffering was not wasted. Our God waits and He sits with us and He weeps with us because He unconditionally loves us, knowing that what’s to come is the hopeful promise of triumph we need. We can grieve because grief is real, but it is not eternal. This is the hope that we need in order to sit and weep while we wait for the restoration of all things good. This is what Jesus models for us as He shares experiences with us, an unconditional love.